This is interesting. Not the adoption part, because maternal instincts have kicked in many times for cats and dogs and the most interesting example of that I ever saw was a lioness adopting a baby eland after killing the deer's mother.

No, what interests me here is that the squirrel learned to purr. Purring is a mystery to science. But, it could be a sign of satisfaction that mother cats might accept in order to stop their fussing. So, this baby squirrel has learned to adapt. Or, perhaps, purring is a learned communication for kittens, too. Something the mother cat teaches them, just as she will teach them to use a litter box if she is litter trained. Now, that would be interesting. But surely orphan cats purr, too. So this says something about squirrels, I think.

It's long, and includes gifs. :) WARNING: Frank discussions of natural childbirth, and mentions of "baby blues" towards the end. If this is something you don't want to read, please skip it entirely.

( Read it anyway.Collapse ) I can't stop looking at this perfect little face:











(And yeah, lots of people have remarked that he has Tom Hardy lips. Like I said, I did get pregnant watching Lawless. ;D )

So, that's basically the longest story ever for such a short labor!

Dad brought up the heating situation again, and it leaves me feeling faintly murderous. Not because he brought it up -- I'm glad that his brain engaged when I got the permit, because there's been a lot of "oh, yeah, that'll work, we'll figure it out" instead of actually trying to figure it out and answer my questions -- but because trying to research this question is HELL.

Heating appears to be an, ahem, hot-button issue in the home improvement world. People are zealous about what method is the 'best', cheapest, most efficient, most comfortable, etc, with all the normal annoyances associated with zealotry. I see blog responses that start with "It's always been known," or "X is clearly superior in every way," or "Oh, I can't believe you were idiotic enough to let your client do THAT." Then there's all sorts of 'most people experience' comments that have no basis in research; arguments over whether people are defining radiation right, and on and on and on. No one compares like to like -- they talk about an insulated house with heating system X and a non-insulated house with system Y, or compare to east coast propane prices (entirely irrelevant to me!) or or or or. I see directly contradictory statements given as fact on different fora all the time.

(My current favorite is the one that says "Electric baseboard has always been known to be the worst for efficiency... but sometimes radiant can be worse." One: that sentence doesn't actually compute. Two: it has NOT always been known. Three: Those are my two real options, damn it).

If I could afford it, I'd seriously consider getting another natural gas fireplace insert and hiring a mason to rebuild my current fireplace/chimney such that it could have an insert sticking out each side (one into the living room, one into the studio). As-is, I'm afraid a little freestanding gas stove would be too spendy, and I don't know where I'd put it.

Electric radiant floor under tile prices out to about $500 more than a fancy electric baseboard (with laminate flooring, but it could be . Something durable and cleanable). That's totally worth it if it makes a better experience and doesn't cost me an arm and a leg every month, but I can't tell. And I need to figure this out, because it impacts the electrical plan I haven't submitted yet AND the level we need to build the floor to.

My only real tester for electric radiant is my parents' bathroom, which is a quarter the size of the space I'm going to be heating (and who knows how much of their bill is the floor). I have electric baseboards -- dull, ugly, cheap -- but the new electric/hydronic ones are supposed to heat more evenly and more quietly. I've never seen one in action.

I just want good information, for crying out loud. It's not magic; it's thermodynamics!

Like everybody else in Toronto I have been absolutely fascinated by the saga of the Rob Ford Crackstarter. It's past the half-way point now and with 5 days to go.

This could only happen in the Internet age. It's like a Canadian Breaking Bad.

I'm probably a minority in this, but I genuinely do not give a shit if the Mayor smokes a bowl once in a while. I also don't care if he's an alcoholic, something he has also been accused of. (And something that I personally find a lot more likely.) I care a lot that he votes against funding harm reduction strategies in the city. I care a lot that he drives drunk and that he harrasses people and gets into fights when he's hammered and that apparently he thinks it's ok to grab a woman's ass.

Today's news is about how he's lost his volunteer position as football coach. I actually feel bad for him over that. He seems to care about his coaching a hell of a lot more than he cares about his work for the city.

He's a truly terrible Mayor and I would have been very happy if his conflict of interest charges had gotten him punted out of office. But this is like witnessing a car crash in slow motion. I almost hate myself for watching.

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Okay, so I am pretty sure that I'm not going to end up back in the hole, at least not right at the moment. Which is a good thing. I can still feel it dragging at me... and maybe it'll never stop... but I'm not falling back in again this time.

Thank you to those of you who commented anonymously on THIS POST... it made a big difference. Of all the things I've been able to take pride in being, it's never occurred to me to consider myself a strong or a brave person, because I don't feel like one... I feel pretty weak and easily broken, but to have others see me in a different light is... powerful. And for anyone on this planet to tell me that I have inspired them is bewildering and almost beyond belief for me, but also incredibly touching. There must be some part of me that some of you see that I can't...

Honey thinks that stopping the one medication has made a big difference and i think it has... my moods are a little more unstable, but my overall mood is so much better it's almost weird and I almost don't know what to do with it... like I'm not supposed to feel good and there must be something wrong. But all of a sudden within a matter of a couple of weeks I can laugh again, I can deal with things that would have reduced me to helpless tears... I certainly wouldn't say I'm normal. That's never going to happen... even if my coping skills and moods were perfectly controlled and awesome all of the time, which they won't be, the Tourette's is still genetically wired into my brain and I will always be weird because of it. But it is also me.

I feel more like writing, although I still don't know exactly what I feel like writing, and I still don't know if I can make myself go back to my LoTR works in progress yet, especially because I know how easy it is to knock me down right now and how much it will hurt if I let myself back into it only to have it be ignored again. But I feel some commitment to the three or four people who have never stopped encouraging me, if no one else...

And there's original fic, which I did write... and if you ever want to read any of it, it's all tagged as such... but at the time it seemed like more work and more personal blood/sweat/tears/etc for less result. Now I wonder if trying desperately to make my LoTR stuff interesting enough to actually get a few more people to pull their head out of the sand and let me know it's worth the effort isn't more trouble and more pain than just writing the original fic and writing what I want to write... and it probably isn't possible for it to get LESS of a response at the moment, so perhaps that's the way to go.

Yes, I am bitter about writing at the moment.

I can't help it and I don't know why except that writing fics is the one thing in my life that I'm still doing because I need it as proof of my own abilities or my own worth, and maybe I'm bitter that it still has that hold on me, and that it can still crush me while there aren't many other things left that have the power to do that anymore.

At least I can say that besides writing, there aren't nearly as many things I feel bitter about. I feel pretty good about a lot of things, and if I wish my friends were closer or I could spend more time with them, that's an unfortunate aspect of life, but at least I have you, and even if all I can get is an occasional contact, I can still remind myself that it doesn't mean people don't care, and I can go back and reread those occasional contacts and moments and be happy about them because they made me smile.

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So yeah between Bitter cold that happened and the new heat wave everything i planted died. So i get to start reseeding everything tomorrow. hopefully. this crap sucks ass.

Pennisc Practice was nice though for the most part other than the heat and the fact that my neuropthy decided it wanted to enjoy the weekend too. i should do camping like that more simply because i am sure i lost 40 lbs from not eating cause of the heat. :P. though i did win a few nice things at the raffle there. a Nice sword and some Gourmet salts and a nice amber necklace and other things. I also got some awesome chamomile plants and some other plants and had fun scooping life out of the local pond there. got some odd water plant that i am not sure what it is but it is pretty. and found some nice anachris which i hope takes off in my ponds here.

the weekend even though it was relaxing took a WHOLE lot out of me. i slept most of sunday - monday after getting home. still have not finished unpacking. the heat over the weekend here while i was gone killed almost every single seedling i planted so yeah read above...

I still need to find someone local with a big vehicle to take to to find things i need like some damn free pallets and rocks and bricks and other things. but i grow to think it will never happen. like always. who would have thought that finding two fucking cinderblocks would be such a months long fruitless endevour. i mean really. and there are place nearbyish that give away pallets. but not having any vehicle makes doing anything a bitch.